Real Estate, Menu Systems, & John Maxwell
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Randy What’s up world? And welcome to REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio! The fastest hour in radio, no doubt about it. I’m Randy Zachary and this is a show about real estate, about God, about life, about giving back, about being the change in the world that you’d like to see.
A privilege to bring to you Nathalie Mullinix and REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc., a company dedicated to excellence. REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. is a revolution founded on a very simple principle. We believe sellers and buyers should have choices. We have been a pioneer in the menu programs system, more on that of course a little later. Nathalie Mullinix, president and founder of REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc., averages over 80 million dollars a year in sales prior to stepping back to focus more on building REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Membership Network. She’s an accomplished speaker, writer, consultant and trainer. She travels worldwide literally, spreading the Gospel if you will, of REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc.. And she joins us now! Hey, Nathalie!
Nathalie Hey, Randy! How are you doing?
Randy I’m doing well. It’s raining in California and you’re telling me it’s raining in France too?
Nathalie What’s your temperature at least? Is it rainy and warm? Cause I can take that.
Randy Yeah, we’re in the upper 50’s, lower 60’s.
Nathalie That’s not that warm, but you’re in northern California right?
Randy Yeah – actually Central, [inaudible] in the middle.
Nathalie I’m in France and it’s been cold and yucky out. It’s been like that consistently for several weeks though. Yeah but it’s good to hear your voice and get on with you. I can’t believe how time flies, I can’t believe it’s Wednesday already.
Randy Yeah, just like some people to get an idea, it’s 12 o clock Pacific and what time is it? Is it like 9 o clock in France?
Nathalie It’s 9 o clock in France right now! And we’re at 3 o clock eastern time Hawaii and here it’s 9 o clock in the morning right now.
Randy Oh yeah, that’s right! Hawaii! Well today of course, we always begin our program with the first half hour is typically real estate nuggets and often much of what we obviously love to bring your way is information on REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. and of course the menu programs, the membership opportunities and of course, we’ll be sprinkling those in throughout the first half hour or so. In the second half, we’re gonna talk about a guy I’ve recently came back into contact with. A guy named John Maxwell. Written a lot of books and many people have heard of him. And Monica and I have been in touch with the John Maxwell team and we’re gonna be actually doing some things with him in Orlando with regards to some marriage stuff. So yeah I’ve dug up some of my John Maxwell books and man it’s just amazing!
Nathalie We gotta get him on the call live though! That’s the way to do it.
Randy Yeah, let’s do it!
Nathalie Sounds good.
Randy So that’s gonna be in the second half hours of course, in the first half Nathalie is gonna be talking about working from home, is easier than you think! You can take back your independence and experience true freedom but before we get to that, let me give you the number again 347 945 5428. And you can call that! You can email us at email@example.com. And if you have any questions I’ll be checking that email as well. So yeah, let’s get it rolling! Man, this time seems to fly by and before I know it, the first half hour is over. I got my pen in hand and Nathalie, I’m ready!
Nathalie Ok! You know what we’re talking about today is – I mean with the internet and people constantly say the economy is bad and I hear it over and over that people aren’t able to find jobs. I was just on the phone with somebody I know – I’ve known them for years and the son who’s in Afghanistan, wants to come back in New York and he’s not able to find a job. So he’s staying in the military for a bit longer. And I just think it’s really sad because even with real-estate, with the economy being the way that it is, you can still make money. Our industry is one of the industries that I’ve been in since 1985 that we’ve always been able to work from home, make our own schedule and have the luxuries [inaudible], plays, PTA’s, whatever you want and need to do. So we wanted to talk a little bit today about working from home in the real-estate industry, because so many people need to take control of their independence, it’s not fun to know that you might walk in and get a pink slip one day through no fault of your own due to economy and budget cuts. So I just wanted to mention that a little bit because our real-estate menu program we do and we believe in so much, when people have choices, tie in so beautifully with working from home and real-estate and so that’s what I wanted to dig in a little bit because we’ve got a lot of people that listen to the show, they generally listen to the show, they may not be real-estate brokers and agents and they may not be listening in and so many people you hear say “I would love to work from home!” and I get these emails all the time, but are they scams are they real? I mean of course there’s many scams out there but it’s really real, you can work from home! I was even able to have the offices back in 85 an 90 and lived 10 minutes from the office and still works home but nowadays with the internet and we’ve all got our blackberry and iPhone and computers and you really could work from anywhere in the world. So I wanted to mention it because it ties in beautifully with what we do. Randy, you and I talk about this here and there, I’ve been in the real-estate for more than a quarter century so I consider myself an expert in the field, selling thousands of homes and being involved in many aspects of the business, etc. You’ve been in radio for like [inaudible] years? Is that right?
Randy Yeah 30+ years.
Nathalie So what happens when we’re experts in our fields, we just kind of assume that our regular lingo and what we do, we think everyone knows it. We take it for granted, like it’s no big deal. And we just do what we do but when you think about it, I want to talk a bit about it today, because we assume people know this or know that. So of course when I’m talking about what we’re gonna talk today I’m like “Of course anybody can get a real-estate license, but there’s prerequisites that you have to – I don’t think you can have a long record.” Anybody can have it, but you can go through training and it’s very quick and make very good money if you dig it and you can work from home and just have freedom. So I’m just gonna touch base on that. In our real-estate industry, as I’ve mentioned in the beginning it’s been done for years and now more than ever, but people are working from home in all industries and they’re loving it! When you learn how to combine working in real-estate with the real-estate menu systems that we teach you truly can work virtually not only from home but all over the world. That is true freedom! I’m sitting here in France right now, you know, you can literally be anywhere and do what you need done. Most of our forms and contracts and files are on the servers these days so as long as you have access to the internet, you can do whatever you need to do. No more do you have to say “I’m sorry, I have to wait until I go to the office or I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” Or bringing your office home with you constantly, lugging back and forth all the paperwork for us now. You can just get on the internet and do what you need to do. So it’s pretty cool! A lot of people before they get into real-estate will ask if they need a license. And you can actually get into real-estate sales [inaudible] you are gonna need a real-estate license. I’m echoing? I’m on my head-set and I feel like I’m echoing. Can you hear me ok, Randy?
Randy Yeah, you’re sounding good.
Nathalie Ok, cause it’s echoing on me. Do you need a real-estate license? Yes! If you’re in the United States you need to get a license and a sales person’s license and then hang it with a license state broker. I actually was in London last weekend cause the weather was so bad in France I thought I would go and check it up for a couple days. And I’ve learned that licensing is not mandatory in a part of the UK which I find that so interesting because we have such regulations in the US so it’s interesting. But in the US, each state has its own Real Estate Commission and Licensing Laws. They’re usually pretty similar, but not always. You still have to get licensed in whatever state you’re in. So for example, I’m licensed in Hawaii and in Maryland. You can be licensed in as many states as you want, but you can’t practice real-estate in a state that you’re not – so you wouldn’t be able to [inaudible]. So depending on which state you want to practice in, the first step is to get a license. But amazingly, the licensing courses are offered at many real-estate companies, colleges and online. The hours depend on your state requirements. Typically they’re from 5 hours up to 90. Can you imagine that, Randy? [inaudible] that typically runs for about $250 but you look at the fact that you can make six figures plus and it can go way up, depending on what level of work you want to put into it. That’s not bad considering what a four year degree costs. Do you know how many people get a masters and then they start out at 40,000 a year? I mean I definitely believe in getting degrees and education but [inaudible] make more money than a lot of attorneys and in real-estate sales and get in with this little bit of money and such minimal time. I’m an advocate to really learn what you can learn. You go out there and earn as much as you can. So [inaudible] depending on the state you’re in, as time goes on you may want to become licensed in more than one state especially if you travel or if you split up your residency. So I’ll send it to you in a second, Randy, to see if you have any questions. If you want to, take a break and we’re go over that more when you return. I can’t believe it’s already half past the hour on this! We’ve got a couple minutes left.
Randy Wow! Yeah, well I did wanna chime in when you were talking about the cost of a masters degree and I know – my son for instance just graduated from Chico State and he wants to go and work on his masters, but you know, it’s $70.000-$80.000-$100.000 depending on where you go and like you say. And it’s like you say! Someone spends 50-60-70,000 on an undergraduate degree and then you start working for 30,000 or $40,000 a year and you know, obviously I can do that math. So the fact again that with real-estate you can get going you know, for a whole lot less and the potential, the upside is – and it’s worked absolutely and we’re not saying it’s a kind of get rich quick scheme at all. It’s work and you must put the work in but I now real-estate is one of those sales jobs that when you put the effort in, you’re rewarded and I know you’re an example of that, Nathalie, in your career.
Nathalie Yeah, it comes back to you pretty quickly [inaudible]. We assume, but how many people that are listening to us may now that for 250-300 dollars, they may go to school and get your license. Now approximately, once you get licensed and if you join a board which you probably should because it’s easier, you get a lot more education involved, it’s gonna cost you around $1.000 a year. That is still dirt cheap considering what we were talking about, right? So it’s pretty neat. We’ll take a break and we’ll be back!
Randy Ok, we’ll be back in just a moment!
Commercial 1 I wanna give you four specific examples at the end about how a [inaudible] triples their sales by doing one thing, how an artist like [inaudible] went from being a nobody to making a huge amount of money and having a lot of impact to how [inaudible] defined about how to be an architect. And one of my biggest failure as a marketer in these last few years, a record label that I started that had a CD called sauce. Before I can do that, I want to talk to you about sliced bread and a guy called Otto. Now before sliced bread was invented in the 1910’s I wonder what they said “The greatest invention since the telegraph.” But this guy, Otto, invented sliced bread and he focused like most inventors did on the patent part and the making part. And the thing about the invention of the sliced bread is this – that for the first 15 years after sliced bread was available, no one bought it or knew about it. It was a complete and total failure. And the reason is that until Wonder came along and figured out how to spread the idea of sliced bread, nobody wanted it. That the success of sliced bread like the success of almost everything we talked about at this conference, is not always about what the patent is like or what the factor is like. It’s about “Can you get your idea to spread or not?” And I think that the way that you want or the [inaudible] change to happen is you’ve got to figure out a way for your idea to spread. And it doesn’t matter to me whether you’re running a coffee shop or you’re an intellectual or in business or trying on air balloons. I think that all this stuff applies to everybody regardless of what we do. That what we are living in is essentially an idea – that the people who can spread their ideas, no matter what they are, win. And when I talk about that I usually speak business because they make the best pictures that they can put in their presentations and because it’s the easiest score. But I want you to forgive me when I use these examples because I’m talking about anything that you spend your time to do. At the heart of spreading ideas is TV and stuff like TV. TV and mass media made it really easy to spread ideas in a certain way. I call it the TV complex. Now the way it works is you buy some ads, interrupt some people, that gives you distribution. Use the distribution you get to sell more products. You take the profits from that to buy more ads and it goes around and around, the same way that the [inaudible] complex worked a long time ago. Now that model of – and we heard it yesterday. “If we could only figure out how to show in Google, or how to get promoted there or how to get that person by the throat and tell them about what we wanna do. If we do that, then everyone would pay attention and we would win.” Well this TV industrial complex informed my entire childhood and probably yours and all of these products succeeded because someone figured out how to touch people in a way they weren’t expecting and didn’t want. They saw the ad over and over again and they went ahead and bought it. And the thing that happened is they cancelled the TV industrial complex.
Randy Seth Goden boy oh boy! If you get the chance – if you’re on Twitter and even if you’re not you can Google Seth Goden but he is an amazing entrepreneurial genius and I follow him on Twitter and get inspired. Just finished reading his book, and I know you would love what he talks about in terms of people bringing their genius to what they do. You know? And what is your genius? And the world is waiting for your genius and for you and for me and we tend to jump the gun into the second segment, but the idea of doing that 9 to 5 thing cause you gotta do it as you say versus you have the freedom to do what you want to do and to travel. And I guess that ties in with the feedback from the first half. REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio, the name of this program and the number again is 347 945 5428 and Nathalie Mullinix is our president and founder of REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. and again our website realtyuniversal.com. And we’re in the middle of the first half of our show where we talk about real-estate and Nathalie has been laying out the benefits of getting your real-estate license and working in this industry because you truly can work from wherever you are. An example, Nathalie is in France as we speak and she travels, of course as we said at the top of the show, nationwide and is able to do that because obviously her career in real-estate and the success that she had and the hard work that she has put in has enabled her to reap some of those benefits. But what is your dream, what is your genius? The world is waiting for it and you need to show it your gifts, right?
Nathalie You really just stir it up, you really do. Now with the real-estate, once you have your license, it shouldn’t actually take you long to get out into the field with training from your broker and your local real-estate board it’s important to learn the ropes and mix in the traditional way of doing business with the menu system ways so you have a feel for the experience and you can really dig in. When I was brand new at the age of 23 – oh my God, that was so long ago! – I would literally ask like 100 questions, I would be in the offices at the time and I would ask 100 questions and I would ask several people the same question because I wanted to see what kind of answers I was getting and make sure I have the right answers. I wanted to learn all I could, as fast as I could. And I still agree with that philosophy to ask questions, try to learn faster. Don’t be intimidated by it! Get in and learn! It’s quite exciting in the beginning once you’ve learned the ropes. Of course, it really takes time to become an expert but there’s certain aspects that you can learn quickly and with practice your confidence level will rise – so there’s certain aspects. Getting in, making sales, doing contracts, following through financing that is not difficult and you can learn it quickly and you will be able to actually start reaping the benefits really quickly. We don’t have enough time to go over all the details on how you apply the real-estate menu systems to your career but you’d have the luxury to making your own schedule, contracts can be done virtually anywhere, communication becomes such a breeze with all the technology we have these days. Most contracts and information are stored on the server these days so you don’t even have to run back to the office to get anything. It’s just amazing. And what we do with our realty membership is we teach real-estate brokers how to implement these systems into their business and have the spiritual life and balance and a little bit about what Randy was talking about too was bringing out your gift and how your gift comes out to the world. And you might think “How am I gonna get my gift to the world of real-estate?” Well you can because we each have – God gives each of us individual gifts and you can blend it into how you brand yourself in the world of real-estate or any business that you get virtually and you’re an entrepreneur. So it’s pretty interesting and there’s no reason to reinvent the wheel but the beauty is we all do have our own gifts and personality or brand. And when you’re in the real-estate industry, you’re building your own business, your own clientele. It doesn’t matter what company you’re going with, who you’re going with to train you, you still want to take your unique personality and blend that in with what you do and it’s wonderful. You actually can fit in all the games, your children’s schedules, if your children are grown your grandchildren’s schedule. If you don’t have any children, your own schedule. Go have massages, go and play tennis, go swim or run [inaudible] throughout your day, there’s no more you have to say [inaudible] get back to it. You just don’t have to live that way anymore! It’s really amazing, because so many people in the way they were trained over the years thought they would work for 20 or 30 years and then they would retire. What being an entrepreneur does eventually is in real-estate that you may take this and you may do this in many other fields that you can do virtually now but what it allows you to do is you can actually retire along the way. So why not live your life, have your freedom now? Why wait 20, 30 years to do it? And there’s been so many studies and there’s been so many people that retire and they’re miserable and they wanna work 6 months later or 2 years later because they just have too much time on their hands and they’re not happy. And you have some people that say “No, wait a minute! I love retirement! It works beautifully for me!” And that’s great too, but why wait? Why not blend it in now? And still do fun things through the day and make money? And you could definitely do that with real-estate and with the virtual menu system programs that we’re teaching people how to do because you’re actually closing deals strictly over the phone. You don’t have to drive all around the place or drive to physical appointments. It’s fine to blend it in and for some people it works beautifully if you live 10 minutes away from you and your appointment that might not be a problem but it’s wonderful to blend it in, to not worry about getting fired because you took too many days off, you don’t have to worry about your kids because you can’t do it because of work. You know, it’s just wonderful. And when you learn the systems and how to implement things properly, your clients and customers they’re fine too because they think “Wait a minute! I’m in real-estate and I have to make myself available night and day.” [inaudible] but people are pretty flexible in the way that they work if it’s presented properly. And it’s all about how you present and handle it. And life is definitely a mindset. That’s pretty good! Remember, you’ll be in business for yourself, although under a broker. You must follow guidelines, but you build your own brand so don’t settle for less! If you do it right and learn how to do it, I mean why go ahead and try to reinvent the wheel? You should let us teach you how to do it through the systems in the process. Really, I wish I had someone to teach me 26+ years ago, because I would have saved myself a lot of extra time and trial and error. And I worked hard and earned well, but it was so many hours that could have been pulled back a little bit if I had the training that I’m talking about. So once you do it, you’ll have so much fun organizing your time and schedule and you can fit it all in, nobody’s complaining like “Oh my God! Why didn’t I do this years ago?” Really, I mean people, it’s amazing what you can do and how you can structure life and make it all work. So you can become a member [inaudible] dreams come true and if anybody listening is just taking like food for thought and looking into it, because there is a good way to do it and not run around like a chicken with its head cut off and stressed out and in many different directions.
Randy You were just talking about the difference between working with REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. in the menu system programs versus kind of the typical way and that is a question that I wanted to ask and this kind of leads into it. So I think typically people think “Well you got to live in a certain geographical location” so you’re the expert in the city of LA. If you want to sell in LA, then you gotta be physically there. But you’re saying closing deals – something caught my attention. You said you can close deals and work virtually with the menu system. How does that work?
Nathalie You can be – for example, I can get onto the deals on short sales and negotiate right in France for Maryland or Hawaii. So you actually setup your systems – there’s very different ways to do it. I am speaking to you from a [inaudible]. You could use Skype or other systems. Because I’m in Europe and I don’t want to pay $1,29 a minute with my cellphone so there’s step by step ways to do it. All the contracts and documents are on the servers. You have people who want to sign documents virtually through DocuSign and many other programs that are signature programs. So think about it! Now we have different programs, buy our rebate programs, seller programs where the buyers are actually doing some of the physical leg-work. So even if I was 10 minutes away from that person in Hawaii, I wouldn’t need to meet with them because they would do the leg-work, they would just need me to get on the phone and talk to them. So 9 times out of 10, I’d be sitting on an island and could do the same thing if I was in Europe. It’s pretty amazing! Now you do have situations where there’s physical work needed, you can actually work that out with another agent or broker and work it out for a small referral fee. You don’t have to give away the whole pie! So there’s different ways – so you can have teams setup so you can cover it all around and it’s amazing! People assume and I find the older I get, the more people assume “You can’t do it this way!” And when you actually take away those prejudices and the assumptions and you look at it, you go “Oh my gosh! This is amazing!” When I was in London over the weekend, there were two different brokerages on the street I was on and I went in and I met – one of the gentlemen was very nice and “We’re gonna see if we can put together a thing or two on referrals.” And it’s that easy and you’re networking [inaudible] which is really amazing. Now if we didn’t have internet like in the old days, you couldn’t do it. [inaudible] but with the internet, I mean it’s a no-brainer. But even in the old days, you could work [inaudible] amazing! And if you’re home, you don’t want the dogs barking, you have to make sure the kids aren’t screaming, but it’s so much easier than what people think, it’s amazing!
Randy Wow! That is amazing! REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio, the name of the program. Nathalie Mullinix, our president and founder of REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc.. And realtyuniversal.com the website and things are changing and the internet is helping to facilitate that in many industries and real-estate is no different. And I love what you said earlier about the idea of asking – how to do things better and working smarter, not harder. And all of those things and I know that’s a part – I love this quote I came across. Henry Ford on being a visionary said “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have told me faster horses.”
Nathalie That’s true!
Randy In other words he saw something beyond horses. All that people would think about in terms of transportation would be horses. But he saw something different and you saw this menu systems many years ago.
Nathalie Way, way before anybody was doing it.
Randy So you are a visionary in this regard and you continue to be and I think people who are considering entering the real-estate industry, man they should absolutely go to realtyuniversal.com and check out the membership and of course, there’s a place where you can contact us and make an inquiry as well. Again, with the economy the way it is – what I love about real-estate is it is a people business. It is a business where you’re interacting with people and when I read over it, I know that you typically wouldn’t share this, but I’m gonna go ahead and share it. If people go to your website and look at some of the testimonials about what people said about how you handled their process and what they think of you as a person, often the testimonials go beyond you being a real-estate agent, although they talk about you being efficient, and as a human being and how they were blessed to have you a part of their lives and that’s the cool thing about this industry! Is that you get to interact with people and because it’s a personal thing that’s being purchased or sold as a home, you really get to know the people better and you can be a part of their lives.
Nathalie Yeah, I mean trust is an important thing, especially now with the Internet because you don’t know who is who. So when you build trust, and you have referrals and repeat business and people get to know you as you are in the industry and people that you associate and work with in the industry because we have pretty strict standards as far as making sure that the process when we’re referring people members that the customers are being taken care of as well. So it’s pretty – you can’t – it’s all out there. It’s crazy but it’s out there!
Randy Yeah, what I love about it is when the market is “up” or “down” it’s always good for somebody so if it’s not good for buying, it’s probably good for selling. So it seems like there’s always an upside to it though.
Nathalie You know what I found out thought? I found out that if somebody really want to work, they can make the money. When you hear the people crying about the economy – no. If they really want to put in the effort they can do it, you know? A lot of people don’t really want to put in the effort because of the different time periods and things going on with their lives but if they want to it’s there. So –
Randy Let’s take a break! And again the number is 347 945 5428. REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio the name of this program, and again our website realtyuniversal.com and Nathalie Mullinix and Randy Zachary we will be back right after this!
Randy All right! And we are back again! Good afternoon! REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio, Randy Zachary and Nathalie Mullinix, president and founder of REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc.. The website again realtyuniversal.com. And this show, literally the fastest hour on radio – I’ve been in radio for 35 years and it flies by! Again, in any part of the program and in the beginning, a half hour there you heard Nathalie talking about the benefits and advantages of not only getting in the real-estate industry but specifically in the REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. membership program and the whole menu system idea and concept. Absolutely I would recommend you go to the website realtyuniveral.com and check it out and inquire! There’s lots of places there where you could plug in and make inquiries and lots of products and things. Again, it’s a great day in the neighborhood, it really leads into our second segment here. And sometimes it’s half hour-ish but today a little less, we kind of want to wrap up with some thoughts from a guy named John Maxwell and it really [inaudible] which is kind of cool. And yet what we end up talking about is the same and the synchronicity here, you talking about making the life that you dream of in your job by working from home and working virtually and being in the real-estate industry. And John Maxwell and the difference maker, making your attitude your greatest asset. And he talks about it again making your dreams come true, but really it all starts with you and that’s something that Nathalie was saying a few minutes ago. It all depends on you! You can listen to somebody else talk about the economy or real-estate, but you can continue to make money, to live the life that you want to live. [inaudible] quotes the famous hall of fame baseball player who’s very often quoted with a lot of funny saying and one is “Life is like baseball. It’s 95% mental and the other half is physical.” Kind of humorous but he talks about how baseball is mostly mental. He talks how you attitude is everything. And John Maxwell talks about three things, I’m just gonna share three of the aspects because we really don’t have time to read the whole book. But he talks about how you might be in a funk. I mean a lot of people are and are sitting here – you are listening to this show, you are on Blog Talk radio somehow and you ended up connecting on our show and you’re listening to it right now, then maybe for this very moment, you are in a funk, out of work and you were listening to Nathalie and you were semi-encouraged and you’re almost like “What’s the website?” but then you believe again the beliefs about yourself that you’ve allowed yourself to derail you and this is a chance for you today to choose the right track. And John Maxwell says “How do you do that? How do you get from a place of “Man, I’m helpless!” And he says it starts with you and your attitude. And he talks about [inaudible] singer and we all know her. She said “My mother had only gone as far as the 10th grade, my father had a third grade education but they were both very literate. They spoke well and their values were high. They drummed into our heads that the situation you live in doesn’t have to live in you.” Our attitude doesn’t come from our experience history or from outside ourselves but it comes within. In fact, I was watching Oprah’s show and she had [inaudible] and they were talking about not being stuck in your story. Whatever your story is that’s included failure, not to be stuck in that and you just keep telling yourself that you’re failing. And John Maxwell in his book, is saying your attitude is everything and it starts with you. He says the first thing you do is to evaluate your present attitude. I mean think about it! Evaluate it – what is the deal? You identify problems and feelings about yourself. What are some self-defeating lies about myself that drive my behavior? And when do you feel most negative about yourself? And you talked about this again and you’ve said before, Nathalie. Writing things down! I’ve been journaling lately and it’s really helped me, because I can go back and it helps me put into place what I’ve been feeling for the past week or two and it just really helps. And I’m ADD and I get distracted pretty easily but do that! Write down first of all the problem feelings about yourself. Then identify the problem feelings related to others. And this is something that we all need to work with, I do as well. Believe me! I can be very critical, not only self-critical, but critical with others and judgmental and I’ve been working hard on journaling this week. It will help me [inaudible] to judge and criticize others. And we talked about Wayne’s book last week but he even goes so far as to say when you have a criticism, judgmental attitude toward other people, your wishes and dreams, your progress in your life is blocked because you’re stuck with this attitude towards other people and you’re judgmental and he goes on to talk about how people are people and just let them be and love them! Just love them! Even if they hurt you, you know? Celebrate their quirkiness but have love in your heart for people! And I know this is way easier said than done. So John says “Identify problems toward others” and then the last one he says is identify problems thinking. And of course he talks about some of our thoughts. And I think last week we hit on this as well that there is this kind of a conveyor belt of thoughts that go through our minds and if you’re like me literally there are thousands of thoughts that go by and I can choose to pull whatever thought I want off that conveyor belt and focus on it – or not. So for me, rather than be captive to a thought that jumps me, depresses me and overwhelms me and all of those things that we tend to let negative thoughts do, we can choose to put that thought on the conveyor belt, let it go and choose to think about only those things [inaudible] think on the things that are Nobile, virtuous and up-right. Think about good things rather than bad ones. And absolutely! And Nathalie, I know given what’s happening in Europe and in tour life with your brother and that tragedy there, that’s something that you’re literally right now back and forth struggling and working on. And you’re normally, obviously a very successful person and entrepreneur and in this season in your life, I know this is something that you’re struggling with and I know we all tend to, at some time or another. Nathalie, are you there? So yeah, that’s another one. And identify problems and feelings that is huge and then there is another problem as well. Choosing to think about good thoughts, about things that are virtuous and of good report and then develop the desire to change! And this is again John Maxwell saying you’re the way that you are because you want to be. Everything that has brought you to this point in your life is because you wanted it to be, for some reason or another. And that’s hard for us sometimes, because we love to blame others. It’s very difficult to take responsibility for our lives and we need to realize that we are the way we are because it’s the way that we want to be. And I know there’s all kind of psychodynamic in there like our past and all of those tapes that get deeply embedded in our brains, our minds and again those lies we talk about, those lies about ourselves that drive our behavior, why we say and do what we do, and it’s often because of lies. And I’ll give you an example. I had a pretty abusive father and emotionally, physically and I was – because of that growing up, I never felt like I could measure up, I could never please him. So those kinds of things are ways that – kind of the tapes in my life that I struggle with. So those are things that we again [inaudible] the situation that we live in doesn’t have to live in us. My journey has been one of working out and through that thing to try and measure up. So it’s challenging but it really does begin with what we think about, what we choose to think about. And John Maxwell, the book is called Making Your Attitude Your Greatest Asset.
Nathalie I agree.
Randy So a good read and well worth it if you get the chance. Anything by John Maxwell is inspirational and –
Nathalie Oh it sounds great! Can you hear me, Randy?
Randy I gotcha!
Nathalie Because I don’t know what happened, I disappeared and then I was here. You mentioned on the journal, I could hear – working virtually is wonderful but sometimes technology is a little off. I was gonna mention on the journaling and the one good thing about it is if you do it consistently, and you go back and read it, you can really see where we’re stuck. You can see the repetitive issues that are coming back over and over again and then you can say “Wow, I gotta move past that!” So I think the journaling is really wonderful. I’m not so great about doing it every day – sometimes I skip a week or two but if you get to do it constantly, it’s great! I’ve been having such a problem dealing with my brother’s death I’ve always been such a doer in my life and I probably see the big picture and how things work out for the good of all and everything kind of tied in. But I realized that there are situations that we can control [inaudible] but when it’s death, that’s different, you know? And it’s debilitated me in ways I never thought that I would be. So it’s important to have empathy because you never know what people are going through and [inaudible]. But the journaling I think is great because you’re getting your emotions out but it is a mindset. So there’s certain things you’re gonna go through in life that you won’t be so positive about and other things you can. And I think [inaudible] we have to allow ourselves the time. But I think there’s other things that are pretty simple to say “Wait a minute! I see the glass half full and not half empty.” So I agree with you and it’s all about mindsets and conditions and working through but it’s also about that we’re human! And there’s also times when you just gotta go through the process.
Randy Absolutely! And the God component, I don’t think we can ever forget that, because I think that for me is the difference between what I believe and some of the motivational guru’s out there who really – they use the terminology [inaudible]. I think we can have a lot more to say about it than we do but you also have at some point to submit yourself to the divine timeline, some people call it divine synchronicity, there’s a lot of terms for it. Christians call it God’s will. But there’s a point where you can absolutely get your thinking straight and work on all of that but there is also a divine component, whether you call it God’s will or his timeline. You can wish about wanting a certain job or this or that and yet really, you only have peace when you can only release yourself in God’s will. “God, you are the ultimate arbiter of my life and I do submit my life to you! I will do what I can but I need you to do the rest!“ Because we do need him to sometimes love us. As you know in your situation, we [inaudible] into letting him love you – and there’s a verse in Isaiah that I love that says “You will find treasures hidden in the darkness.” And Monica and I know that there have been times in my life that it was dark and we didn’t think God could love us. It was a really dark place and yet in those places, what it did is it drove us to pursuit him more, to really beg him to help so the deeper we leaned into God, we did find him there and that verse about finding treasures in the darkness really became alive for us because we thought “Those really dark places is where we find God to be real and more loving than we did in the good times.” And then in a really weird way, you look back at the really dark places and go “Those were really special because God met me there.” I know in our lives what I found and I know it’s different for everybody of us, but that treasure in the darkness is for real. Yes man!
Nathalie It’s definitely – No it was wonderful and awesome and I agree 100% with you, Randy! It’s got to have our faith. Without faith, there’s nothing we could do. And you know we’re gonna have good times and bad times and it’s just – I don’t know. Some things make sense and some don’t but you know – we all do have choices and lots of the times you can see that lots of the things that happened were based on the bad choices made. So we can definitely see where it ties together.
Randy You know what? Talking about synchronicity, I just got an email from M. Gary Newman, who is the therapist we were on the [inaudible] show with.
Randy Yeah. I don’t know what that’s about but I haven’t talked to him – it’s weird. We were just talking about that kind of healing and one of my favorite therapists just texted me.
Nathalie Maybe he’s saying to call him or he just wants an email?
Randy I think he wants me to give him a buzz.
Nathalie Well thanks for another show and I guess we’ll talk next week! And everybody out there, I wish you peace!
Randy Thank you for joining us on REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio! Our hope is that you were enlightened, encouraged and mobilized to be an agent of change. REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. is on Facebook, join us there. Follow us also on Twitter@REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc.. And for more information, you can go to RealtyUniversal.com. Make it a great day!