Home is where the heart is
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Randy: What’s up world? And welcome to REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio! The fastest hour in radio, no doubt about it. I’m Randy Zachary and this is a show about real estate, about God, about life, about giving back, about being the change in the world that you’d like to see.
A privilege to bring to you Nathalie Mullinix and REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc., a company dedicated to excellence. REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. is a revolution founded on a very simple principle. We believe sellers and buyers should have choices. We have been a pioneer in the menu programs system, more on that of course a little later. Nathalie Mullinix, president and founder of REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc., averages over 80 million dollars a year in sales prior to stepping back to focus more on building REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Membership Network. She’s an accomplished speaker, writer, consultant, trainer, and oh, by the way, mother. She travels worldwide literally, spreading the Gospel if you will, of REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc.. And she joins us now! Hey, Nathalie!
Nathalie: Hey Randy! How are you doing over there in Maui?
Randy: Aloha! We are, we’re here and it is a little cloudy today. And as you said, sometimes it’s hard to discern the cloud from the vog but actually, during the last week or so, we have been a week or so and the vog has not been that bad. It’s really –
Nathalie: You think it’s rain clouds today, huh?
Randy: I think it looks more like rain clouds today than vog. We’re going over to the big island tomorrow and we might really run into some vog over there.
Nathalie: Where are you going? Konaside or Hilo?
Randy: Konaside. Some friends of ours are at the local base with a mission and going through a six month DTS, kind of a disciple training –
Nathalie: Really? Tell me what it’s about!
Randy: Yeah. It’s about folks that are thinking about maybe becoming missionaries.
Nathalie: Great! When does this start? Tomorrow, huh? This is a little too soon for me. No, I think that is so cool. Missionaries like anywhere and everywhere in the world?
Randy: Yeah, they go everywhere. This training center on the [inaudible] big college kind of campus thing there, just outside of town and it’s been there for years and it’s been kind of the base of operations. They have one on Honolulu and one on Maui, but this one is the big training center and everybody goes first there to get trained and then they decide which country they wanna go to and then they do like a two month check it out thing to see if it’s really what they wanna do and –
Nathalie: You mean they actually go for like two months, and not two weeks? Isn’t that a long time to check something out to see if you wanna do it or is that the minimal commitment?
Randy: Yeah I think it’s about commitment. I think after two weeks, everyone would probably think “I wanna get out of here!” so you gotta fight through that phase.
Nathalie: So how do people, when they do the missionary, how do they – they have to be able to have enough money to pay their bills back home to do this or what?
Randy: In the case of our friends, it’s a family a pastor and a wife who we’re friends with and they’re in our age. They’re 50-ish and they have a couple teenage kids and basically five of them and they just put their lives on hold on the mainland. The guy’s pastors dad took over the church and they basically put the kids through school and said “We’re gonna do this for six months.” It’s an adventure and also kind of a perspective of the world.
Nathalie: And they home school them – they have to be able to pay the bills. I mean not to sound like a dumb questions, it’s not like it had funding or money coming out. You just gotta be able to do this, right? When you wanna go.
Randy: Yeah. You not only need to obviously pay the ongoing bills at home or whatever but you need to pay them. There’s a cost involved in the training as well and you raise it like any other missionary would. You ask friends and church people, you kind of raise your own support and you don’t get to actually enroll until you’re raised your support. So that’s not an issue.
Nathalie: No, I think it’s so cool cause our show today is about home is where your heart is. And of course, you know I always take the real estate and the self-help and we tie them together and we’re all about getting people to lift up that part of them inside of them so they can do what needs to be doing so they’re happy and healthy and everything. I think that really is true, cause home is where the heart is. You take a family that’s doing some missionary work, and it ties in with what we’re doing. In the differences that we can make, anywhere and everywhere, and it’s not about the material cost of stuff. You know?
Randy: Yeah, absolutely! I didn’t think of that but as you mention that, it absolutely ties in because yeah – home is not – and in real-estate I know you talk about it all the time, I mean we love our homes and the physical building and all of that stuff, but home is really where you are with your spouse or family and you’re right, it is where the heart it. And being in transition in [inaudible] like we are, that can sometimes get a little confusing and you sometimes need to work through it and sort it. You know, where you’re in a brand new place and you’re used to another place, I think it’s just human nature to get used to new surroundings.
Nathalie: Yeah, but I mean you have people buying homes and selling homes and many people go – of course there’s many TV shows out there that tell you what to do, the classic one on one stories and – but you have people and they know they’re relocated, they’re gonna move here or there. They are upsizing because they’re having babies or maybe they are downsizing because they’re getting older. There’s just so much that can happen and it’s really interested to look at it from life experiences and realize it is about the family and where you are. It’s about having the peace of mind to enjoy what you love and that piece of day. Not about – I remember. You and I have great stories that we can remember, just from life experiences over the years. And I look – I downsized so much in Maryland to move to Hawaii and I went back and forth and God always blessed me and I had a really big house in Maryland that I remember renting out when I moved to Hawaii and then like 3 years later I was like “Oh my God! The place is getting so trashed!” And I was back in the property just to check things out and said “I’m not being a good steward of my company because my son and my dogs are in Hawaii.” My brother was in Hawaii at the time and I was just like “But I’ll be in Hawaii more than Maryland” since it was in 2003, but it makes sense to sell it but a whole family was in that house and there’s no way I would have sold it. And it’s just kind of interesting when you go back and see these things because I’m now – I go back and forth between Maryland and I went to a property that I have bought in 1997, moved out at 1990 and if you’d told me even 10 years ago “You’ll be back standing at that property”, I would be “You’re crazy! Are you kidding? That’s a rental property. It’s not gonna be anything new, this or that. I wouldn’t want to be in the neighborhood.” There are a lot of things that right now, looking back, sound really silly but you hear people talk like that all the time, “Keeping up with the Joneses” or it’s just not good enough or whatever. And I don’t mean to sound like I’m saying we should compromise our, what we like or want. You always want to make sure you’re comfortable. But it’s interesting because when you go through the life changed and you go here and there and you take your families with you, you start to realize home is where your heart is. It’s not about how big is this home? Do I equate to these Joneses? No matter where you go in the world, you take yourself with you and it’s pretty interesting. And I think like right now, you and Monica could just decided – I mean Monica is wonderful and you guys decided to go back to Maui for a little while. And you made it happen within 60 days?
Randy: Yeah, we’ve been planning it for a couple months but yeah. Exactly! And it is, it’s an adventure and we’re staying with some friends right now in a home in [inaudible]. Nice home, in fact it’s a missionary home. There’s a missionary from South America who is gone almost a year from here and it’s a really nice home and when he’s away, he rents it out to folks and it’s kind of become a crash pad for people with various missions. So it’s kind of a cool house and yeah, it’s exciting. But you’re right, home is where your heart it.
Nathalie: But Randy, I just want to go back like when you first started – I guess you had a love for Hawaii for a long time, but when you started saying “I’m not just gonna visit, I’m gonna live there.” Wasn’t that 2003 or 2004? And we’re now in 2012. Wasn’t it like around that period? Somewhere around there? The reason I’m bringing it up is because when you were doing it then it was much scarier than right now and go “Come on! We’re gonna check it out!” You know you’re in a marriage and things are cool and you can do it. Right? Wasn’t it scary when you branched out to do it?
Randy: Absolutely, when you’ve never done it before – and the other thing and we always kind of bring the God factor in.
Nathalie: God’s real – the God factor.
Randy: The thing about the reason it’s not so scary this time around is that it’s something that’s kept bubbling up. And I found that when things continue to bubble up and you say, you ask God to maybe take them away, and he doesn’t and they’re still there, that there’s something there, like a purpose. And you know, when people are always at a crossroads. And that’s what you’re talking about. Folks that are in transition, buying houses. The transitional thing is “What are we gonna do in the future? They may be looking for a job.” I’ve always found that you look back and see what have you been doing, what are the things that come up in your life, what are the things, the passions, the things that you’ve been doing that keep coming up and you’ve been prepared for? And you can kind of look back and see what you’ve been doing, what your gifts and passion are and how those have been pushing you along your journey and really continue to pursue them! And so that’s what we’re doing. We’re helping some folks put a radio station together on the west side of Maui so it’s Maui and radio and –
Nathalie: And it’s so funny and I think about the fear factor, it’s fear that stops people from doing whatever they want to do. And then you know how they say practice makes perfect? After you’ve done something a few times, the fear starts going away, but the home is where the heart is. That’s so important. And I mean right now with the economy downsizing and maybe people are downsizing because they realized they don’t need the maintenance of a 5,000 square foot home, they don’t need to pay the gardener. Many times the kids have gone to college and the parents it’s time to downsize. They wanna go travel and do other things, right? So it’s just amazing though, because home really is where the heart is, it’s not the place. With that said, yes you want to create where you want to be. You don’t want to be in the ghetto and when I say that, you don’t want to be in a dangerous area. You can create – and even if you’re in the ghetto, just to give you that example, it doesn’t mean your life is over. It means that day to day you try and get out of the ghetto. It’s – I just bring it up because it really hits home, especially with my brother right now, I would have done anything to have him here right now. But it hits home because with as much risks as I’ve taken, it really is where the heart is. And I bring it up because sometimes you hear people that maybe didn’t take as many risks, were protected constantly or stayed within one area and didn’t venture out and all of a sudden, her husband lost his job and he doesn’t have the money to give them the comfort they’re used to. And when they need to stay with their husband, they’re getting mad and frustrating. They’re lashing out, which isn’t gonna help the husband. But it can be reversed, the wife is supporting the family and lost her job and her husband’s lifestyle is changing and sometimes these people go through situations and end up in divorce only to look back 5 years later and go “Oh my God! Why didn’t we do that? Why didn’t we stick by one another?” So we bring it up cause home is really where the heart is. Lots of people wanna run away and go to other places cause they think that’s what paradise is and many times it’s in your backyard. You and I, we’re in real-estate and the self-help and I thought with this show, I just wanted to banner back and front and tie it all together, you know, with real-estate and spiritual. So that we will, for any listeners out there, we’ve been doing some different things on our show and we’re gonna start having a lot more speakers on this show, we’re gonna start getting interactive with some things. We’d love for you to come in, we’re gonna be doing. So within the next 30 days and this right now is June 13th 2012. So you’re gonna see a lot of changes in the coming months because we’re just gonna start taking it full speed to where we believe – Randy and I have talked about over so many years – where we need to go with it. But the home is where the heart is, when you’re first starting out it doesn’t mean – you may be starting out in buying something smaller and deciding to do x, y z and then deciding you don’t want to by anything larger than what you’re in. You know, you may have grandchildren and have been in one area forever and all of a sudden your kids have moved out of state because of jobs. And they’re having babies and you realize “Oh my God! I wanna be near where the grandchildren are.” So you’re gonna relocate. Maybe you’re gonna relocate in an area that costs 10 times as much as where you are now or it could be less. But I’m just giving an example. If you relocate and you end up in a 2 bedroom, 1.000 square foot place and you’ve been in a 4.000 square place for 30 years, what’s more important? Is it more important to be near your grandchildren, home is where the heart is or is it just the 4.000 square foot place that’s just empty space and you’re by yourself? So I’m just bringing these things up because we always get into these areas where nobody wants to talk about it I think. That’s what I find. Or somebody is gonna say it’s too elementary to talk about that or talk about this or that. So that’s where we are now. And how is Monica doing? Did you guys come together or separately?
Randy: We – no. We came together and she’s doing well. She – come over here! She’s here right now.
Nathalie: Hey, Monica!
Monica: Hey, Nathalie! How are you doing?
Nathalie: You are just amazing! I’ve got to tell you you’re one of those women that needs to get one of those women of the year award. You’re amazing, you really are. You’re just amazing. Don’t you agree, Randy? She’s the woman of the year.
Randy: Woman of the decade or millennium.
Nathalie: Yeah, exactly!
Randy: She’s – we were talking about moving and I was thinking about this and we were talking about the topic today and our first – how many years of marriage?
Monica: Our first 10 years of marriage we went 23 times.
Nathalie: No way! 23 times?
Randy: First ten years of marriage. I was a youth pastor at a church and that’s part of the story we told in the book that we’ve written about the healing of our marriage, but I was running and whenever I would get close to somebody who would challenge me to any area of growth in my life, I’d take off and move on. And even after we had kids, we moved for the first 20-30 times.
Nathalie: Oh my goodness! Really? That’s amazing! Monica, how did you do that?
Monica: You know, I don’t even know how I did that. Only by the grace of God, I – I didn’t enjoy or like it, but I knew that home was with Randy and my family.
Nathalie: Makes sense.
Randy: We kind of planted our flag in Chico and we lived there for 12 years and managed a radio station about a house and raised our kids. So we did settle down and in that time we did get intense marriage and personal counseling which really helped as not having a happy feet [inaudible] or ready to move on. So yeah, of course 4 years Central California and back here in Maui now. And with the kids gone, it’s a little easier to be a little more mobile and I think – and I guess you ran into this, Nathalie with empty nest [inaudible] who lives maybe half the time in Hawaii and half the times somewhere.
Nathalie: We run into the empty nest and as people get older and older and living longer, and then they have to like sell those homes that they’ve been in forever and these retirement communities can be devastating at that time because who wants to do that? When you think about it, who wants to do that? But when people make the transition, just step by step. And it’s really about different life changes and life times. What’s the name of your book?
Randy: [inaudible] the healing of our marriage is.
Nathalie: Healed hearts –
Randy: Healed hearts, broken parts, new smarts.
Randy: It’s available at our website at our website, randyandmonica.com actually.
Nathalie: Oh I love that!
Randy: I think that just sums up our stories. We all have broken parts, some of us deeply broken and wounded and you know, the key to moving on in life and being all we can be is allowing God into those broken places and heal them. So broken parts, healed hearts and then new starts.
Nathalie: You know – go ahead.
Randy: I was just gonna say one of my favorite verse is, I can’t even remember the quote – his mercy’s are new every morning and we get a divine do-over every day. And that’s a very cool thing.
Nathalie: Wow! You know, we’re about to take a break in about two minutes. But I wanted to ask you something and Monica some questions, if it’s ok with you.
Monica: I’d love to.
Nathalie: Cause you get the award not of the year but like the quarter century. You get a really big one! I have some questions because Randy, you know how you and I have kind of similar backgrounds when we were little and we see a lot of people walking around wounded when they’re adult and everything looks great. I just wonder if sometimes it really takes somebody that strong as Monica to understand that. Cause many people are just more self-centered and if things are not perfect, they’ll just walk away.
Nathalie: And I’d love to touch on that when we come back because I think that home is where the heart is really crucial and that’s what gives people the strength that they need to do what they need to do and love life and not always focus on their surroundings and sweating the small stuff.
Randy: Absolutely! You hit it on the head! We could not have, I couldn’t be where I’m at personally today was it not for her being so selfless and committed when everybody said I’m hopeless, she stuck with me.
Nathalie: But she must have known or seen something, right Monica? That’s what I’d love to know cause like a lot of people wouldn’t see it or care and that’s really important.
Monica: I saw all the potential and I just saw what I wanted to come out but it took a long time and healing before we get to where we are now.
Nathalie: Wow! It’s amazing!
Randy: We’ll take a break?
Nathalie: Yeah and we can come back to that and be great. Awesome!
Randy: And we are back again! It is sometimes as simple as that and sliced bread. I love that! Good morning, afternoon or evening, wherever and whenever you’re listening! REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio is the name of the show and Nathalie Mulinix is with me. My name is Randy Zachary and I’m hanging out with my wife, Monica. And the number to call by the way if you’re listening live is 347 945 5428. Really the topic today is home is where your heart is. And of course in real-estate, Nathalie often encounters families – not often but all of the time, in transition one way or another. It could be that they’re moving away locally and it’s not so traumatic or it could be they’re moving from across the country and the whole new world to the family, to the kids and all of that and so home is where the heart is and that’s the thing. We do get kind of connected to neighborhoods and buildings and those kinds of things but it really is where the heart is where the family is and I know Nathalie, you wanted to continue your conversation with Monica a little bit.
Nathalie: Yes. Monica, you’re a saint! I’ll tell you. When – home is where the heart is, we – being in the industry for 27 years, I see a lot of situations where people are downsizing and upsizing or relocating. They have grandchildren, maybe they’re moving to assisted living, they have a military family and the military family are usually moving for the next 20 years, etc. There’s so many situations and sometimes change – I shouldn’t say sometimes. Change is very difficult for humans. And when you’re not used to it and when it comes, instead of somebody realizing that is where the heart is, what are we doing, it’s for the better, people can be negative and upset about it and not grasp the finer things to look at in life and sometimes you have situations that could have ended up badly when they could have ended in a good situation. I – with me saying that, there are times when people are going through serious domestic violence and dangerous situations where they need to run. Not just stay there, but just stay there or go to counseling or support groups. To learn how to deal with it. But in the normal – Randy and I talked about that last week. What’s normal, right? Because everyone has different levels of what’s important to them. But in the day to day things, most people find that life’s pretty good. But if we look at it in a bad way, it can be pretty bad. So you have been amazing where you guys are both – I respect you both so much, you both are so amazing, we’ve known each other for a while and I just wanted to ask you when you went through the transitions with Randy moving, I didn’t know it was 23 times in 10 years. And how did you know, this is the man you love forever, home is where the heart is. You were just centered and focus. I mean how did you not just fall apart and say “I don’t know what to do! I can’t do this anymore.”
Monica: There were times where I did fall apart, you know? But I just had to find that strength within and say “I gotta do this.” I mean I grew up in one home from the time that I was 2 years old I my parents bought their home and I did not leave there until I got married. But the moving around thing was definitely something new to me. I just didn’t think people really did that but here we did. It just brought a really formed character in me. I had strength I didn’t know that I had. There was a lot of strength the Lord has shown me that he was building in me to be who I am today and it continued. I mean your growing doesn’t stop. So there was a purpose for all of that and God used it.
Nathalie: At that time, were you going to church constantly, were you into the Bible? I mean as far as God – or did you feel God in your spirit?
Monica: You know what? We definitely were church attenders. We were youth pastors so we were going to church. And a lot of the times I would work at the church that we were at. So we were very heavily involved in church and that was probably a really good thing with me that gave me a great connection with friends, it just gave me a sense of community when we would move somewhere and I didn’t know anybody. So that was just a huge help and just really started me on the process of really now trying to teach women that they need other women in their life for whatever they’re going through. Whether it’s a family thing or moving transition, whatever it is there have to be people speak into your life, help you, laugh with you, pray with you, all of those things, because you can’t really do it all on your own.
Nathalie: So we kind of need to learn to have support groups, right? Because you always hear sometimes when women maybe – I don’t want to just say women and man but say a woman gets with her husband and all of a sudden she forgets everything else. She’s just so focused on her husband and family and forgets her support group. So you’re saying we need support groups no matter what’s going on in their lives.
Monica: Absolutely! I’m a huge advocate of small groups, home groups, and support groups, whatever group fits your need, go find it because it will be life-changing for you!
Nathalie: That’s amazing! I love how you say that, because you always hear over the years they say “It takes a community to raise a child.” And lots of times we don’t think about that so we have parents, mother or just father. Many single families. I mean I got divorced when my son was very little. The first time he left was when he was six months old, went back to when he was 3 and a half and got completely divorced by the time he was 6. And so I would hear constantly, it takes the community to raise a child and it sounds like that’s what you’re saying is we need our community, our support groups so that we can handle what we’re going through because so many of us tend to isolate and try to deal with everything ourselves which isn’t good. So it gives us a more healthy perspective to – and it’s interesting you say you stayed in one house all your life. I was an army brat, I was born in France and we moved – well my mom’s French but we moved many times and then my parents divorced when I was 11 in Hawaii and I still moved and was on my own at a young age and I had my son very young and there was something in the back of my head. I didn’t learn it, I don’t know if it’s instinctive or what, but there was something in the back of my head that said “No, I want to raise my son in one area for his own good.” And I did, I stayed in one area until he was 21 and I moved back to Hawaii and he followed me. And I have to say my son is extremely well-rounded, confident and comfortable in a lot of areas where I wasn’t so comfortable growing up, you know? So I just wonder how that – it’s interesting. But I wasn’t taught that. You know how some things come instinctively and you just do it and see? Were your parents a good support system when you were having issues too or did you rely mainly on the women at church?
Monica: You know what? My parents were a huge support system but really the problem was that they lived almost 4 hours away and so they helped as much as they could and yet that because they weren’t close, that’s where I learned that I have this inner strength that I didn’t know that I had, to be a single mom and work full time and to have to do it all. I didn’t realize that I could do it and that I was stronger than what I was. And that was my first experience with a support group of women that just loved on me and we supported each other and I’ve learned what it was really like to be vulnerable with another human being. I was not [inaudible] or in the church world growing up. I learned about it on the go. It was life-changing for me.
Nathalie: You could have gone another way. You could have said “I love God and I feel like I can handle this now, Randy. Goodbye, Randy!” You could have said that “I’m strong, I can go my own way, I can handle it all. Goodbye!” So what gave you that inner strength and wisdom to know “Wait a minute! God said this is where I’m supposed to be.”
Monica: You know, everyone in my life at that point told me “Get the divorce papers ready!” And there was just something in me that I just said “I’m not ready to do this. I wanna know that I have tried absolutely everything before I quit.” I wanted to make sure that all my business was taken care of with Randy because I didn’t want any but’s, if’s, woulda, shoulda, coulda come up later and he was the father of my children and I wanted to do everything possible to make sure we could make this work or not. And so I often held out and it was just that little voice in me that just said “Hold on! Because just around the corner, good things are coming.” And I know that’s what motivated me.
Nathalie: That’s fantastic!
Monica: I got a great man!
Nathalie: You knew he loved you and you loved him. You knew it, could feel it and God was speaking to you. That’s amazing! No, because so many people are so caught up in this minutia, that they’re not even looking at the deep part of it. They’re just reacting.
Monica: That’s where the support group comes in, [inaudible] I couldn’t see it for the things in my face. I was always pointing the finger at Randy and saying “Why isn’t he? Why didn’t he?” and they helped me be able to see the bigger picture, because I was in so much pain. When you’re in pain, you just can’t see beyond your nose. And that really is what good friends are for and that’s for them to help you get through whatever it is that you’re going through right now.
Nathalie: Wow! That’s amazing! Cause you hear so many good stories, horror stories and it’s just amazing that you were so strong to do what you did. I’ve heard of people gone through certain situations where you just wanna say “Hey, hang in there a little while!” but they don’t wanna hang in there anymore but it’s because they just get exhausted but they need to hang in there, unless of course there’s abuse and things like that. But it’s amazing! It’s funny though, without God I just don’t know how we’d all make it. I would have never been able to make it without God all these years.
Monica: Me neither. I don’t know how people do it. So –
Nathalie: God! You’re amazing! And I bet right now you and Randy are helping so many couples with the marriage counseling and the ministry. It’s just amazing.
Randy: People talk when we say, when we come here, we come for the marriage ministry. People are like yeah, any excuse to go to Maui. But if you Google Marriage Ministry Hawaii, there is nothing.
Nathalie: Really? You’re kidding me.
Randy: There’s nothing in the state that’s an ongoing marriage – individual churches have their marriage ministries but in terms of any kind of coop or state wide thing – and literally while we’re sitting here, just before we went on the show today, Monica got a text from a gal who wants to meet with us today. And I was sitting yesterday at Starbucks and this guy sits down and it’s a guy that we met two years ago and we counseled him and his wife. And he just sits down [inaudible]. I’m just saying once you get intentional and you go down the path that God has for you, it just explodes.
Nathalie: You know, in Honolulu there’s a huge domestic violence center. And I bet they would love for you to do your sessions there. It’s huge on Oahu!
Randy: We’re actually hooking up with the people at Salem Radio in Honolulu and yes. We’d love to get things going on Oahu for sure.
Nathalie: You know it’s funny cause when we go with home is where your heart is, there are so many different places people are at – and I was mentioning things earlier about the going back and forth in Maryland and I went back and forth and sold it in about 1990 and if you told me 10 years ago I would go back into that, even temporarily, I would have said “You have got to be kidding! It’s a rental unit! I’m not gonna go back there!” And actually it’s perfect for what I need to do when I’m in Maryland. So it’s – and people said “You don’t live there, do you?” And I’m like what? Excuse me? And it’s funny because when you finally realize God has a mission for us, the same you were talking about people who were doing missionary work, taken their family in another country for 6 months, which I’m sure the living conditions are not like the – I won’t even say Hilton, I’m not gonna go to 4 star or 5 start hotels. But they’re definitely conditions that have nothing to do – they’re survival conditions. Really it just makes a big difference. We start to realize how humble we are and what’s really important in life. And it’s funny how the most important things in our life don’t cost money. Isn’t that weird? The – it’s just – but gosh, Monica, you’re amazing! And the tools that you’ve learned. Cause I grew up in a different situation and always had to be the leader and miss independent and where in my 20’s and 30’s I would have rather be in a board room full of men than women because I found that a lot of the times the women were complaining about this or that. I didn’t – I wasn’t in the right situations so the men would be lighter hearted and it would be easier to conduct business, right? So I didn’t find, even though I had a few women that I was close with, I didn’t find the support in the women as I found now that I’m older. Now I’m 50 and my closest friends are women that I’ve known for 20 or 30 years. We kind of – we always stayed in touch and you realize those are your support people. But back when I was younger, I didn’t find that a lot in the business world so it’s interesting, it’s really about loving and trusting God and getting in there and looking at the picture, it’s almost like looking at the finish line, instead of reacting to everything that comes up every day. When you look at a lot of the bad situations that happen in our world, lots of times the people are reacting, they’re not looking at the big picture. I get upset when I see the politicians accept things they shouldn’t accept and they’re not looking at how it will affect their children and grandchildren and community. And I don’t mean all politicians. That’s a very tough – I wouldn’t want to be a politician. That’s a tough place to be and a lot of hard work and there’s many good politicians but I think it’s really interesting. My hat’s off to you because it takes a lot of strength to be able to see that because it’s so easy to go “Forget it! I don’t wanna do this!” It’s very hard.
Randy: Yeah. And by the way, she stepped away from it but she absolutely was in that place where for a while she didn’t know. There was that period of time where she – yeah. Like I said, she filed for divorce.
Nathalie: That was what? After 10 years?
Randy: Yeah, 10 years. She filed and I remember the day she filed. I was working in the gym, I lost a lot of weight but I was Joe Cool and was in the middle of a workout in the gym and this person comes up and asks me if I was Randy Zachary. I said yeah and she said here, you’ve been served. And it was divorce papers. And you’re right when you said earlier that the things that matter have nothing to do with money. I just remember everyone started patting me on the back and all these guys are –
Nathalie: That’s just a common thing that guys do. They don’t mean it – they’re saying it out of their mouths but they don’t mean it in their hearts.
Randy: Yeah and I played along and of course I went in the car and cried for 2 hours because I realized my life without her would be – she was the best thing that ever happened to me and you know. But you’re right about the things that don’t matter. When you said earlier about how the things that matter aren’t about costing or – and it’s true. I think in my experience, and this is kind of a weird take on God but it kind of makes sense, God loves us so much and it isn’t like he’s a mean, angry, God. It’s that he loves us so much that he’ll take away everything that is meaningful to us so that we know that he is the only thing that really matters. So I’ve seen that through. When God – we were in that place where he took away our house –
Nathalie: But why do you think he took it away? You really think it was God?
Randy: I have come to kind of believe that he does love us so much that he’ll take away whatever we think is more important than him. Whatever –
Nathalie: Oh if we think something is more important. Like if we idolize something and we think it’s more important. Yeah, that makes sense.
Randy: That big house or job or whatever it is that’s above him on the importance scale, he loves us so much that he’ll take it away and he seems like a cruel God, but when you think about that – and we have and experienced it, where we were in those deep, dark places, we found him to be more real than we ever did in the good times.
Nathalie: You know it’s funny cause with my brother dying, I felt so guilty and I’m going to counseling about it because I didn’t do – I know I was a great sister and we loved each other so much and we’ll love each other forever, through eternity. But I still felt guilty like I could have done something or whatever. It’s funny you said that because my brother loved God but he was so entangled with a girl who wasn’t like Monica. She was very – it was bad news situation. And it’s weird because it was so weird because he loved God, he gave me a picture of Jesus, it’s frames in a skull frame. It’s beautiful. Jesus on Christmas. He died January 15th and he gave it to me Christmas 2011 and I’m like “He knew but he didn’t know.” You know how we get the grasp on it? And I think that male ego, like you said, you were in the gym and you got your divorce papers and the guys go and use the b word and then you go in the car and cry for two hours, cause you don’t want that, right? The guys get so macho that their ego’s mean so much. My brother, I talked to him 4 hours before he died and he was fine. And something so bad happened the last hour and a half and then the male ego, the girl was cheating with another guy, the other guy’s being a jerk and the other guy’s like gross and she’s gross and you’re my brother’s dad and I’m going “Oh my God, what?” Like women might not think about it in that way, I’m not saying every woman, cause lots of women would maybe react to but you might look at it more like – now that I’m 50 and if a guy did that, I’d be like “Oh my gosh, I’m glad I found out now! Good riddance!” But when I was married and young, I was upset. But I’m just bringing it up and my brother’s dead because of the fricking ego? You know what I mean? And other things happened that day. And it’s just really amazing the peace that you found with God, the serenity, the stability and one thing that I love about the Bible and God – and you are I are Christians, but we’re not telling people they shouldn’t be other religions but we’re not like that. We’re never gonna tell anybody it’s our way or the highway. People need to be where they are. But the thing about God is God doesn’t change, react or slip out. He’s the same every single time. And it’s very painful, like I’m going through so much pain and then I realized I believe in God so much, if I love him so much how do I want to quit everything, because my brother died, because I’m not accepting that he died? And then I realize I have to accept this because it’s part of life too, even though the way it happened was really bad and that will come up eventually. But no, I see what you’re saying. And Monica’s just been wonderful with you and it’s just amazing how we’re blessed with God still looking after us, right through the struggle and the pain. I don’t think God, I mean look at Job and different people throughout the Bible who started giving sacrifices and God said he doesn’t want sacrifices. That’s not his meaning. He just wants you to love him and honor him but I don’t think God’s a punishing God. And I think we have – the biggest thing you and I talk all the time is love and peace is so important in the world. But it’s interesting, we get on these topics, like oh my God! Like real-estate to me is a vehicle and I’ve done it for 27 years and we’ve got affiliates and programs and they’re wonderful. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty, we’re all humans and we have our own stuff that we’re going through every day. It’s interesting, but some of the things that happen – I was talking to the ministers and of course I was raised a catholic but I was talking to one of the ministers and I said “I just don’t understand how this happened to my brother.” He said “Nathalie, there’s a lot of things in the Bible that I don’t understand. But I trust God.” And he’s been doing this for 30 years. But Monica, you’re a saint, because I don’t think I’d be that good. I know it. I don’t mean it in a bad way, I’m just saying now that I’m older I could understand it better but you’re a saint because you understand things at a younger age in that perspective. Don’t you agree, Randy?
Randy: Yeah! I do.
Nathalie: No, really! Absolutely! Would you be able to do it if the tables were turned? No!
Randy: No, exactly! And I used to say that I’m all out of miracles but in Monica I’ve met my miracle quota. God can’t – I can’t get anymore. But you know, that’s not true because even as we stand here today on Maui getting ready putting a radio station on the air, getting ready to do what I love, who I love to do it with, with my beautiful wife beside me, I realize that the miracles continue in our lives. If we really believe that [inaudible].
Nathalie: Randy, you know what? He really does, but it’s really difficult! Because he totally does. But then you still are connected to other people that you love tremendously. And when they’re not as connected as you are and you have to go through some of their pain – you know what I mean? Like does it make sense? I can’t believe the miracles that God put in my life and the pain that I’m going through with my brother and then I feel guilty cause I knew better. Why didn’t I drag him out of that mess? But I did what I could do and so it’s funny cause we’re connected to other people who’re connected to God, but may not understand him at that point. We all grow at different points, right? So then you still take your pain along with their pain and you’re going “Ok, I gotta just trust you!” And you’re right, it’s really amazing.
Randy: It’s both blessing and pain. There’s gonna be both in this life. Jesus said “In this world, you will have trouble.” So it’s true. I think both of those verses they don’t contradict themselves. He will give us the desires of our heart, there will be blessings, joy and peace and there will be pain. And it’s both. Unfortunately it’s not bliss all the time. I think people read that and go “Oh it’s gonna be joy and bliss all the time.” No! There’s gonna be seasons of intense pain as you’re expressing right now and we’ve been through those, believe me and even since we’ve been married and our stuff, there are still seasons – and when we say season, they can be a week or two [inaudible] because they’re heartbroken and they’re disappointed. And we feel all those things because we love the people in our lives and we hurt with them. But the overall for me is the decision that do we really believe God loves us? And if that’s true –
Nathalie: And you love them for eternity? And this is just one piece of existence for our soul. We have to keep going and going. Yeah, you’re right. Hey, Randy, I know we only have about 4 or 5 minutes left, is there any way that you can link the missionary work where you can sign up and find out what is costs and all of that? Can you do that?
Nathalie: I want it too personally, but I wanna give it to our listeners so that they can check into it too.
Randy: Yeah, the organization is Youth With a Mission. It’s called [inaudible] and it’s – you can Google it on Kona. There’s a huge website and they have a whole ministry and we can absolutely post that as well. Yeah, so that if folks want more information on that.
Nathalie: Is that org or com?
Randy: I’m not sure.
Nathalie: You can post it, ok!
Randy: And it’s a great organization. It’s young and old. If you’re in a place and you think “I’m done living my life for me, I want to help other people.” And more and more people are doing that, even my age.
Nathalie: You’re not old, Randy! You’re not old at all. You’re very young.
Randy: This was a great show! I love how we did it today and combining –
Nathalie: I love bantering back and forth and Monica, she’s truly an angel. She’s like a saint, she can be up there with Mother Theresa. Honest to God! People don’t realize what it takes to persevere through those types of times when it makes sense. Now it’s different if someone’s got a beater or the husband’s getting beaten and hit with bricks. There’s certain situations where you need to run out of them or go to counseling. First of all, everyone should go to counseling to get a perspective on what they’re doing. So we’re not trying to tell any of our listeners that if you’re in an abusive relationship, go be a saint and deal with it, right? But there are situations where somebody knows “Hey, my husband or wife, they do mean well and they are good!” This isn’t other issues. So I think that’s where the counseling and the 12 step programs and the awareness comes in and the support because when you isolate and you’re so alone, it’s really hard. So here we go, Randy! Home is where the heart is and we went back into our spiritual stuff and we disregarded the real-estate, but not really, because real-estate to us is a vehicle and that’s what it means. It puts us in touch with people. When it comes to real-estate, we know it like the back of our hand. I could do it with my eyes closed. My son used to say to me when he was 7 years old “Mommy, I heard you talking in your sleep and you were talking about real-estate. And I started asking you questions and you started answering the questions.” So I’m just saying. And we’re talking – my son is 33 now. So it’s not like we don’t know our expert field where we know them but this is about real life, right? Tie it all in. And that’s what we’re about. So anyhow, I’m gonna come out there soon. I’m making some decisions to come out pretty soon just based on what I need to do because I can’t just sit and isolate myself. And my brother, I love him so much and I’ve been so devastated about my brother and so upset and I know my brother would be very mad at me if he knew that I’d been isolated as much as I have so I gotta get back out there!
Randy: Yeah. The website by the way is realtyuniversal.com. For information. If you’ve been listening to Nathalie and you’re hearing her at this hour, I said it before. You don’t get to be the number 1 realtor in the state of Hawaii.
Nathalie: That doesn’t mean anything, but thanks!
Randy: Without loving, caring for people and that’s kinda what you’re all about. And obviously that’s kind of manifested itself in the real-estate and the success but really this show I think for us and you, I know taking that kind of, that next step and giving back to the world and helping other people.
Nathalie: And you two are prime examples. You’ve been doing it for years! And that’s what it’s all about. It really is.
Randy: We’ve got about 30 seconds, we’re about out of here! Nathalie?
Nathalie: Ok, well everybody, I wish you peace!