Should I sell my home now?
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Randy: What’s up world? And welcome to REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio! The fastest hour in radio, no doubt about it. I’m Randy Zachary and this is a show about real estate, about God, about life, about giving back, about being the change in the world that you’d like to see.
A privilege to bring to you Nathalie Mullinix and REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc., a company dedicated to excellence. REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. is a revolution founded on a very simple principle. We believe sellers and buyers should have choices. We have been a pioneer in the menu programs system, more on that of course a little later. Nathalie Mullinix, president and founder of REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc., averages over 80 million dollars a year in sales prior to stepping back to focus more on building REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Membership Network. She’s an accomplished speaker, writer, consultant, trainer, and oh, by the way, mother. She travels worldwide literally, spreading the Gospel if you will, of REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc.. And she joins us now! Hey, Nathalie!
Nathalie: Hey, Randy! How are you?
Randy: We are enjoying the sunshine in Central California. I think it’s gonna be about 90 degrees today. So it’s warm! How about you? What is the weather like over there?
Nathalie: I’m on the East Coast right now and the weather’s warm.
Randy : Oh warm!
Nathalie: Nice! Yeah, it’s pretty warm. It’s good, it’s not too hot – not yet. I’ll probably get him [inaudible] and we’ll probably get it more towards August.
Randy: Well here we go again! Another show! And life happens of course. And between this week and the shows –
Nathalie: Oh my goodness!
Randy : So much going on for both of us. I know that you’ve been working on some personal things with regards to your brother. That tragedy, we just had a situation at out radio station where one of the employees office managers grown daughter, 35-40 ish disappeared due to making poor life choices and in terms of guide.
Nathalie: It just happened? Like in the last couple –
Randy : Yeah, in the last couple of days. Well it’s kind of been an ongoing problem with her in terms of problems and whatnot. Some poor choices and some – she disappeared. She’d been gone for two weeks and they just found her yesterday and she was beaten into a coma and she was on life support, basically braindead.
Nathalie: Right now? She’s braindead? Oh my God, that’s horrible!
Randy : They’re just not sure, they don’t give her about a 5% chance to survive. So you can imagine like with you when something like that happens that’s so un-expecting. It’s devastating when you feel for people. If it’s a family member, that’s a whole another realm, but even people who care about the folks, if you have any kind of empathy you just realize that it’s so sad. It’s so tragic and I think we’ll talk about it in the second part a little bit, because I’ve been kind of processing some stuff as well. And you ask yourself in those situations, and I’ll just kind of tease it here a little bit here before we get into the real-estate. But we ask ourselves “Ok, I believe in God and if this kind of things happened, one of these two things is true. Either God is all powerful but he doesn’t care about me or he does care about me but he’s not really all powerful.”
Nathalie: I don’t agree with that! Go ahead, I didn’t mean to interrupt you! You know me. I’m miss Blunt here.
Randy : Well those two kind of human – that’s when you go to the human plane. You’re like “You tend to do that and you think about God and his love for you and you go “You know what though? I know he’s all powerful cause I look at the world and I see what he created and I see that he loves us because I look at the cross and you can’t demonstrate your love any stronger than what happened at the cross. What Christ and God did, giving his own son for us.”” So there’s a point where you come to a place and I saw these folks who lost someone talk on the TV the other day and this pastor and his wife and I thought about you. This guy got to a point where he said “I know that he loves me, I know that he’s all powerful and he could have avoided or stopped it, but for whatever reason this happened and now I’m left with trusting, although I may never know the why. But I’m left to trust him.” Pretty powerful. So we’re processing that –
Nathalie: I really like that we’re getting into this in the second half because I think it’s really important.
Randy: Absolutely!
Nathalie: Yeah and choices we make, God gives us free will and it’s really important to watch who we hang with or who we associate with. If people are doing drugs or the excessive drinking and getting into situations where there is violence, those are bad choices. And I feel bad for people who have addictions. Maybe it’s just not so easy for them to get out of it. But God gives us free will, [inaudible] why be a fool and shorten your life? Which means we got to make the right choices. Even when someone is gonna fly on that little plane, if the weather is bad maybe they shouldn’t fly it. You hear people constantly saying “No, it’s ok! We’re flying it!” and then they crash. So I think lots of times in a lot of things that happen that we can’t control. And that’s the other thing, we’re also controlling. I mean I’m used to running my life, doing this or that and then I couldn’t control my brother going. Why? It’s just gut wrenching but he actually has made some choices and was in a relationship. You know, some of the things happen because of the bad people around as well. So it’s so sad and gut wrenching. And I heard time and time “I hope they definitely let her take time in the coma.” The woman you’re talking about at the radio station. And let her take time. I’ve heard so many cases where the doctors say “Braindead! Pull the plug!” And I’m totally against it, because our bodies – nature gives us when our bodies go in a coma, nature has a way of shutting our body down. God made us walking miracles and that’s a healing process and there are so many cases where they say that and I don’t think they should pull the plug at all. They should give it time, so many months and even longer. I’ve seen too many times where they just do it in the first week and I think that’s crazy. I mean I know doctors are gonna say something like “Who are you to say this?” But I remember running in a woman a couple years ago, her daughter was in a bad accident in Texas and they said she should pull the plug and she said absolutely not! And her daughter went through six months in the coma, then she woke up and she’s totally fine now. I mean came back to a full recovery. But that’s just one example, because the body doesn’t go into a coma. There’s things that the body will do to shut down so I pray for them and that must be very difficult for them right now and – mom and dad are alive?
Randy : Yeah, they work at the radio station with us and we’re close to them. They were talking about that today on the radio. I was actually sharing about that and we got another email from somebody who was listening, talking about how they’re burying their brother today who lost his battle with drug addiction. It just seems like that quote by Plato “Be gentle with everybody you meet, cause everybody you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Nathalie: Yeah, we don’t know what they’re going through and a lot of people are in pain. We’ll talk about that in the second half of the show. They’re saying constantly like the Suicide Hotline and other lines have gone up. Different places and centers are saying that they never had such an influx of people being depressed and issues. And I really believe it’s a sign of the times, economy, information is disseminated to us so quickly that there’s a lot of bad news out there, right? And I think the big thing that people need to realize is one day at a time, because it’s hard, it’s very hard. I know with my brother, I know my life’s changed forever. My son’s, my brothers, our lives will never be the same. We’ll get to them in a second. God bless them and we’ll pray for them and we’ll get more into it in the second half but it’s a reoccurring theme right now. It’s just on and on stuff.
Randy : Yeah we’ll get to that in a minute but right now, the first half of the show is always about real-estate and out phone number is 347 9455428 and you can give us a call. Of course you can email us. A quick way to get to me right now would be my personal email that I check zac@maui.net. Of course you can get through to us on the website at realtyuniversal.com. So those are all of our digits and I know.
Nathalie: Realtyuniversalradio.com is probably the best, that’s what we should give out on the show.
Randy: All right, what are we talking about, Nathalie?
Nathalie: Ok, so we sent it to keep your home or not?
Randy : Yes. That’s what you’re talking about? Ok.
Nathalie: Ok. Right now a lot of people are going through decision making, whether to keep their home, not keep their home – people are behind with their payment, losing their jobs, thinking about foreclosure or short selling. It’s really important – and some people may be trying to make a decision whether to keep the home or not. They’re planning moving out of the area. Do you want to keep it or rent it? So the first half of our show today is to keep your home or not. If you’re in a situation and you’re behind payments and you’re facing foreclosure, definitely do not just hide under the covers, go under the quick sand and just say “I can’t deal with this. I’m gonna let it go.” And then just stop making the payments and waiting for the inevitable. Some people that have been waiting for the inevitable have been able to stay in their house for 3 to 6 months – I’ve heard some staying up to 2 to 3 years after they stopped making payments depending on the type of loan that you have. So you don’t know how long you’ll be in there. You should know once you know the type of loan you got and get it reviewed. But it’s just so important to be proactive now. I know when you’re going through a tough time it’s very easy to not want to take the bull by the horns, just push it away. And it’s really important to look at your options.
So there’s a couple of scenarios here. Just when we try to be positive on this show but we try to look at all situations. So maybe you’re deciding you want to want to keep your home or not and want to refinance your home but you’re not making the same as before or you have bad credit but you made your payment, it’s always important to call your lenders and see what they’re offering because a lot of the lenders are still offering – if you have a first mortgage, they’ll actually do a streamline refinance, which means they aren’t going to go into all of your qualifications. Which means that if you had a good situation with them they will re-finance your house. So it’s not gonna be based on your income and qualifications where many people love the no asset loans that we’ve had for years and of course most of that has gone away from 2008 or 2009. Those loans that were put in place years ago they really did work for people who were self-employed, had good credit, had the cash to pay the loans, had the money for the down payments, 20%+ and they worked. What started happening after 2000, it became a breeze to get a loan and you began hearing all the horror stories everybody has heard it that they were giving out loans that they shouldn’t have. They gave $700,000 to someone making 30,000 a year which is ridiculous. But the no asset verification process that started out years ago really was a fantastic for people to access finances that didn’t abuse it, who did have the means to make the payments. Unfortunately because the abuse happened during 2000 and 2006 many of those loans are not available anymore. But the reason I point out, call your lender because if your lender holds your loan right now and you have a first mortgage, you may still be able to do that on your first mortgage. So I mention these things because so many people assume in our world, we all do it. We do it constantly and you don’t know unless you ask the questions. So I’m just saying to pick up the phone and see what your alternatives are before you just assume that you can’t do it, even if you’re not in a financial position to do it. The rates, I don’t know what rates you would have taken your first mortgage at, but the rates have gone solo right now, but maybe worth refinance it? You have to see how long you’re gonna stay in your home, how much money it’s gonna save you. For example if you only owe 8 years left on your loan and right down you’re paying really hard out of principle, it may not make sense for you to refinance it and go into a 15 or 30 years loan. But you have to call, don’t just assume! That’s the biggest mistake I see people doing today. When everything, no matter what situation you’re in, you gotta do your homework. Don’t trust other people to do the work for you. So very important to call and see what they’re offering. Now if you’re in a position with – that you are behind on payments, Bank of America, they just started a program, they test piloted it. I don’t know how many loans they did but it was quite a few. They tested it in Florida and they were offering between 25 to 30.000 if the sellers are willing to sell in a short sell position. So – and I believe that other lenders are following suite. Now you may wonder “Why would a bank be willing to pay me that much to sell my house under a short sale? Depending on the criteria.” Well the reason is if you are definitely gonna end up with walking away from your house, then you’re gonna foreclose. Typically and historically it makes sense – the banks are gonna get a lot less money on a foreclosure then they would on a short sale. So it’s to their best interest to try and work with you as well. Now Bank of America is also just starting. Under lawsuits there was a 25 billion dollar settlement agreement. Can you imagine? That’s a lot of money! There’s a principle reduction program that they’ve started offering. And apparently it’s gonna be, people can possibly forgive the portion of their principle balance, up to 150.000 each, which is quite a lot of money. Of course it’s gonna be based on how much lower your property is worth. So if you owe 400,000 and it’s only worth 200,000, that would be great to have the rest knocked off and then owe 250,000 instead of 400,000. So that’s something you can definitely contact them about. They’re gonna go like a loan modification type of thing. There’s gonna be – each program is going to have guidelines. So again, don’t assume. Because one program might say you have to be 60 days behind on your mortgage, one might say you have to be current. So I would advise you to dig into this and get the information. If you call the numbers and somebody tells you you don’t have the qualifications, don’t take the face value but “Could you please email me? Do you have any information on the program? Could you mail it to me?” Read up on it and do your homework! Don’t just think this is the way it should be because others say that. I cannot tell you how many times in my life in everything if I didn’t ask that other question and I didn’t check it out or I didn’t do extra research that things would work at all. And with Bank of America you can call as many numbers as you’d like to get new information on getting money back if your short sale is 877 459 3852. And that’s pretty cool. And I know people hear horror stories about how they granted loans without any qualifications and they were tied up for a year only to be denied. Under loan modifications they usually do after they approve it, they want to see you make three payments and then they’re gonna put you in the loan mod. A lot of people have been very worried with that because many people got his with situations a couple of years ago where after they did it and made three payments, they got a nice letter saying “Sorry, you’re not qualified!” A lot of that was because weren’t prepared and they didn’t have their systems in place. It was really a huge mess. And just like anything I think when you first start doing anything and putting new systems in place, it’s not – you have to get the bugs out of the system. So I would still try to find what we’re doing and check it out and everything, document who you’re talking to.
But today we’re talking about whether to keep your home or not keep it and me you know how I am, Randy. We always talk about the business side and making sense and dot your eyes and cross your fingers. And then there’s the emotional side, “why are you doing this? Do we really want to keep our home? What’s gonna be best for us?” So look at the whole scenario but you’re gonna have to have faith too. So there’s a lot of different programs out there right now and somebody may be on the call with perfect credit, they don’t have any issue, they make plenty of money right now and they still are looking at refinancing and you wanna crunch the numbers to see if that’s the way to go. So we are gonna take a quick break and we’ll be back in about 2 minutes, Randy?
Randy : Yeah, actually let’s take a 2 minute break. Hang on, everybody!
Randy: And we are back to REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio! Good morning, good afternoon, good evening! Wherever you are in the world. Again, every Wednesday at high noon, we are here. Randy Zachary and Nathalie Mullinix. Our number again is 347 945 5428 and we’re talking in this first hour of our show as it is custom, talking about real-estate issues. In the second half we talk about life and God and those spiritual matters, self-discovery but we’ll talk more about that in a few. This first half hour, Nathalie has been talking about whether or not to keep or sell your home. And man, this half hour has flown by because just so many helpful tidbits. And I know you said something that really struck a chord because I am – Monica and I have gone through some difficult times where we’ve fallen behind and had to struggle and called a mortgage company. And like you said, you can call a mortgage company and talk to six different people and get six different answers about what’s happening, what’s true and not true. I mean – cause unlike you, every time I talk to someone and I’m like “What is your name and badge number?” I wanted to know who I’m talking to because I’m getting different answers on how to proceed on certain things. And we did do a loan mod and you gotta fax over 35 documents and this and that and all these hoops to jump to. And then one person tells you “Oh you didn’t have to send all of that. You could have just…” That should be almost maddening!
Nathalie: Did you get approved for it though?
Randy: We did yeah, but this was some time ago. We did and we saved our home. We worked hard at saving our home but like everybody else, we went through some lean times and yet – so I would agree with what you said. You could get different stories from different people and it behooves you to do your homework. And with Google and Wikipedia it’s a whole lot easier to do your homework. You don’t have to go to a library, it’s right there on your computer. And just spend some time figuring out what’s going on and what options you have and that you know what you know. And I appreciate that and you talked about the short sale. And it does – and this was a whole another topic and by the way, the shows are archived on our page and if you scroll down, you can see our previous shows. One of the shows, I think even a couple of times we spent quite a bit of time talking about short sales and you made the statement last that a mortgage company makes more money from a short sale than a foreclosure because with the foreclosure they’re pretty much stuck with the property. And I’ve heard horror stories too about mortgage company being unavailable and not being able to communicate with them and we experienced a little bit of that but I did find that our mortgage company at the end of the day, did want to try and have us hang on to it for as long as we could. Because otherwise they’re stuck with that property, right? They want to see you have it.
Nathalie: But historically though, short sales [inaudible] if the house is maybe 200.000 and it should sell for that in a short sell but it’s gonna sell for only 150.000 in a foreclosure. So it is in the bank’s best interest to keep you in that loan or if they know you absolutely are not gonna stay into it, to get you to short sale it rather than foreclose. And that comes back from not burying your head in the sand too, because the bank doesn’t know that you have major issues. Of course, they know if you haven’t made payments, but they don’t now the whole story unless you communicate. So it’s really important but now, because a lot of these huge problems came around in 2008, they’re waiting things out. So there’s an awful lot of programs, one of which gives the seller a $3,000 cost of closing. They do need to apply for the loan mod and get turned down.
So there are some benefits. The second mortgage has to agree to a smaller amount. So if you have more than one mortgage – you don’t have to have more than one if you don’t want to but you may consider it because it’s easier to negotiate with the other ones. When you do a short sale, it’s very important. And that’s something that you may want to go ahead and turn over to a brokerage and make sure that whoever is going to negotiate has a lot of knowledge in handling short sales because there’s so much involved that’s not something you want to do yourself because there’s so much involved in negotiating and making sure the language is correct in the final paperwork otherwise you can think you short sold your property and get sued later for deficiency judgment. So there’s just a lot of things too look out and get the counseling, but do the digging and your own homework as well. You can find that in so many different things. I cannot tell you how many situations have happened to that effect. So again, as Randy said earlier the calling number is 347 945 5428 and if you wanna email then it’s realtyuniversalradio@realtyuniversal.com. Maybe we should shorten that one day. I know. And you’re getting ready to go to Maui soon, huh?
Randy: Yes, June 4th we’ll be heading over and part of what I’m doing is radio consulting on different facets and I’m gonna be helping some guys get a radio station going in Maui. I’m looking forward to get back there. We have a lot of friends there and just not sure how long we’ll be there, but looking forward to it.
Just before we dive into the second half, I saw something and I thought it does tie in with what we were talking about in the first part of our program which is obviously real-estate but also if you are in any kind of sales or business or entrepreneurial role, I just wanna share – it’s three points but there’s some really good stuff. There’s a guy and I’ve referenced him before, his name is Michael Hyatt, he’s the CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. I follow him on Twitter, he sends out a daily tweet that’s always helpful and this one today, just three points but it’s really good. “Three characteristics of a new marketing.” And he talks about what the old school marketing was about and what he referenced as interruption marketing. Basically these guys that come on like car dealers on commercials and they feel like they can bludgeon us just by yelling about what they’re trying to sell. And it’s about the old marketing and he’s talking about the new kind of marketing. And he talked about this restaurant they went to near where he lives. The Southern, in downtown Nashville. They went there Thursday and he just noticed it was built on relationship. The reason he could tell people what their relationship was or interacting with the staff and he just talked about how the new marketing starts with authenticity. In other words, it’s about relationships and connecting with people. And he talked about how when he was at the restaurant, the owner came and greeted them and everybody feels like they know him and it’s also fueled by generosity. And they were talking about the generous portions that they give. So in your field of sales or marketing or business, how can you give back? And this ties right in with what we’ll talk about in the second half, which is giving back and being generous. The motivation even in your business should be fueled by integrity. So in the second part we’ll talk about generosity and then the third one is that it incorporates storytelling and again, everybody has a story and I think you and I, Nathalie, that’s one area where we both share a passion and agreement about it is that we all have our stories and really we need each other when we share our stories but the new marketing again is really true. I’m finding it to be true in the radio realm that some of the old ways of doing things just don’t work anymore, but it’s about building relationships about generosity. How are you perceived as giving back by other people and then story telling. Kind of be vulnerable, letting people know who you really are and I think our show if anything else, absolutely number 3 it’s a big part of what we do.
Nathalie: Yeah it’s very important. I’ve been in the business for over 26 years, constantly having repeat business and I think it’s due to the relationships that were built and people connecting with you and knowing that you care. It makes a big difference. But they know and they come back again because they know they’re gonna be taken care of and that we care and I agree. I have relationships that have been going on for years and years but one of the things that’s changed now is everybody met face to face. And there’s so much virtual work being done right now and it takes longer to build the relationships because you’re doing it over the internet and emails. We’re not sitting down and getting to know them as quickly. So I think that brings the relationships more than ever to the forefront. Then people didn’t realize it, I think they took it for granted “This is the person I use for this because he lives near me and this one is in my community and so on.” You build this network and I think now, because people are often times in different parts of the world, I have a lot of clients that I’ve never met face to face but we’ve done business over the years and you wonder “How did you do that?” Well we do, but it takes that extra initiative so I agree with you. I think those are really three great points that you’re thinking up. We’re kind of – just a quick tidbit back on the first half is to get in and call and if your mortgage company isn’t [inaudible] call them anyhow to find out what they’re offering. Most of all, follow suite with the other lenders. And really important to make sure if the pressure is on, you can do it! And whatever is gonna happen, is gonna work out. You have your health and your sanity and it’s much more important than the other parts and then there’s always a way to work out your home or sometimes, the best decision is to go and move or maybe not. It just depends. You have to look at your whole plan. So it’s very doable.
Randy : Cool! Again, those are tidbits on whether or not to keep your home or sell it. And again, this show will be archived. If you’re just tuning in, obviously you can check. Typically at the end of each show, takes about an hour to upload but you’ll be able to check it out online. We’re growing weekly in our archived listenership and people checking out the show and we’re excited about that. Again, RealtyUniversal.com is the website and you can find out a whole lot more about Nathalie Mullinix, REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc., about what she’s about philosophically but just – that website is so full of just really great material. And you could spend a lot of time. Who needs Google or Wikipedia? You can go there and find out all you need to know.
So as we transition into the second half, I thought about you a lot and we kind of referenced you at the top of the show, but I noticed you’ve been journeying through some of your personal tragedy with your brother, losing your brother tragically. And recently a couple of other situations that I’ve been aware of in the media and locally and then even more recently like the last couple of days, we’ve had someone at our radio station lose – not lose yet but their daughter who’s 35 to 40 years old, in that range be beaten literally almost to death. She’s in a coma and her brain is shutting down. It’s just tragic and again, we’re told in the Bible that “If any sick among you pray and ask God to heal.” So we’re absolutely told to do that. The challenge comes when that doesn’t happen and I know people struggle with that. And as a former pastor, I would obviously always end up with those questions being asked “Why did God take my daughter? Why didn’t God heal my daughter?” And obviously, none of us know that answer. God does. But the idea of tragedy and dealing with it it’s just – there’s another verse that talks about God “Taking what was meant for evil and using it for good.” Their stories were present in the Bible as Job being the most well-known where literally the devil went to God and said “Job, yeah. You say he’s a servant and he loves you but let me take away his family and house. Let me just strip him of everything, his blessings and we’ll see how much he loves you.” And as the story goes and through all the chapters, he loses everything and at the end he’s sitting down and he’s physically sick and his wife comes up and says “Why don’t you just curse God and die?” And he was tested and was able to say “You know what? Though he slayed me, I will love him.” And to get to that point where no matter what’s going on – and it’s so easy to say when we’re not in the middle of something – I gotta tell you Nathalie, the other thing why I was thinking of you this week was it was Mother’s Day and on a couple of levels I was thinking about you and praying for you. And I have a blog that I kind of did an entry the night before Mother’s Day cause I was just reminiscing on why Mother’s Day is difficult for me. It’s my tragedy. I mean I lost my mom when I was nine years old to lupus and the question comes up and we have talked about this. Does the pain ever go away? I guess I can say it does, it goes away in terms of you being so there, so throbbing, it diminishes the actual pain, the effect of losing somebody in that way I think it’s kind of always the hardest part. For me, losing my mom – I still on Mother’s Day and holidays, to this day and I’m 55’ish I still really fight through kind of this emotional stuff cause I miss her. So it’s been a struggle with me even through my adult life. So either we learn how to move through – and it’s awareness. Identifying what we’re feeling and talking about it. When you do that, you can begin to at least process feelings and I think that’s important because we get clogged up and we can’t process, and we don’t know how to turn and what to do. But if we can process feelings and turn them to God, I think it’s the way we say it – at least talk about it with somebody. It helps.
Nathalie: It’s really important to call family and friends, call support groups. Don’t isolate yourself! That’s the hardest thing and it’s very easy to want to isolate because after a while, you feel like calling so many friends – I know with my brother dying and the tragedy and fowl play around it. And that’s the hardest part and not having closure around it. And I found friends but when you’re calling them again with the same issues when you’re depressed, you start to feel like “Wow, wait a minute! These guy’s – I don’t wanna hear this over and over again.” And you have to really make sure that you don’t let that play in to feel isolated. It’s important to go to counselors, and some groups and if you have some friends that are not supportive you stop talking to them because what you really need for you is complete 100% support. You need people to listen to you, not make judgments not to tell you “Just get it over!” You really need to have people listening to you and you deserve that and if someone isn’t then you need to find someone else. Because a lot of people don’t know how to handle the grief that you’re going through and can’t respond to you and these people can very much be your friends and good friends but it gets difficult for them. And if you need anything it’s good to make more phone calls and get through it.
I heard on the news that one woman killed her four children in Florida and I don’t see what’s going on in her life. I haven’t seen in the news what would cause her to get so frantic to do something like that, which is so horrible. It’s so much better to let the children go someplace else and seek help and resolutions rather to take it upon yourself to do something like that. It’s such a tragedy, you know? And I guess if it’s any consolation for people to know that everyone goes through this stuff sometimes. We’re not immune to this stuff and prayer. And it’s like let go and let God, turn it over to God. We have all kinds of things that happened, we have a woman that’s just – I can’t even believe anyone would do something like this to anybody. And I had to really stay strong when I cried every day and my son took me out with my girlfriend on the reservoir every day for about three hours in a little thing. Yeah, they cooked dinner for me too. I’ll tell you, I’ve been grieving so badly and we’re out there and it’s so beautiful and we were feeding these geese and it’s funny cause these geese came up and we kept feeding them in the boat and my son started the motor and header under the bridge and the next thing you know – mind you it’s just totally beautiful everywhere. It’s just so surreal. The weather was perfect, it was warm but not too hot. And beautiful everywhere. The trees have been blooming, etc. And all of a sudden, these other geese starts flying through the air, coming towards us in the boat. I mean it was like it was gonna come – and it was big and fat when it was spread out but it was like he was coming and then he stopped and was trying not to hit the boat. Like he’s putting the brakes on. He said “Stop! Maybe he wants to talk to us.” It was so funny. And prior to this, after we left the two geese, they were making these funny, funny sounds and almost like they were telling their buddies “If you wanna get some food, you better come right now!” I kid you not! Because the other two were too close to get too close to the boat and they did and we were feeding them things. This one was not afraid at all. It was great! And so we fed that one. Some people don’t feed them but this was out in the reservoir so it’s ok where we were. But they came up and took it out of our hands and it turns out it was hysterical because they would say “You’re not gonna get away! I want that food!” And it was just so funny but I’m sitting and thinking “You know, I do have a beautiful life and son and God’s beautiful and the world is. I’ve got to start finding a way to accept this, accept my brother’s death and just move forward.”
Because another thing that happens when you’re going through grief and you’re so depressed and crying and everything, you’re not the most fun person to be around but it’s ok. I’m not saying you have to be. But it’s also easy to be short fused, quick and not really have the patience that you want because you don’t feel well you know? And I just – I saw that and I thought “What am I doing? I just felt like my life’s been over lately and I feel like – wait a minute! My brother wouldn’t want me to do that. Is this gonna be an easy process or does it mean it’s gonna take a lot of time? I’m never gonna forget him. My life will never be the same, but I gotta start living this beautiful life. God gave us this beautiful life to live and we have to trust that and then each one of us has our mission.” So it doesn’t mean – cause like I was talking to a minister and I said “Oh my God! This is so hard!” This was in Carolina, I knew him from years ago. And he said “You gotta get up, make a schedule, put your one foot in front of the other.” “Oh but it’s so hard!” “But it doesn’t mean it’s gonna be good every day. It doesn’t mean that but that’s ok. With time you’ll get that back, you know?” And that’s the part, those are the things that we have to remember, because we can’t control everything. We can’t! Cause then you go like “What if this should happen? What if I…” And with my brother, with the foul play and all the stuff that’s happened since then you don’t have closure. The police doesn’t go and arrest people when they don’t have a lot of witnesses. It’s – things aren’t always slam dunk and my brother made some bad decisions as well but I’m not gonna go into that. We gotta finish the other part of the show, but I’m just stressing these things, because you have to take care of yourself when you’re going through this and get support. And you deserve the support, so don’t ever – some people can’t support you, call someone else. Don’t be like “Oh my God! I don’t believe it!” Don’t feel worse because they may not know how to give the support. It’s – life can really throw us some surprises and I would have never expected what I was going through. Back to you Randy to what you were talking about.
Randy: Well another thing that struck a chord with me is the whole idea of being on that boat on the reservoir with your son and his girlfriend. And it’s a beautiful day and you’re feeling the love and you worry, you kind of were reconnected with gratitude. You were focused on the grief and on this terrible deal and it seems like for a few hours you were able to say “Oh yeah!” It sounds like you were realizing again what you had and focusing on what you’re grateful for. And I think I mentioned it a couple of weeks ago on our show here and I think I got it on one of Oprah’s journal. How easy it sounds to at the end of each day write down five things that you’re grateful for that day, things that have happened.
Nathalie: Absolutely!
Randy : I find myself doing it and looking for things at the end of the day. So now I’m expecting to be grateful and good things to happen and more good things seem to be happening because I’m focusing on what I’m thankful for, not what I don’t have, what’s painful or negative. Like you said, what’s good in our lives. And like you said, what’s good for me is something as simple as – I get hit with a moment like “Man I’m grateful for my wife!” If you know the story, I did everything I could to sabotage it and 31 years later my wife is still with me. Or I’m thankful for my kids – more and more I’m grateful for revelations in my life.
Nathalie: We do need to train our brains, it’s important to meditate, find peace. Sometimes you have to take thinks one day or one hour at a time, if it’s really bad. And even less than that, just chunk it into time. I noticed though the one command [inaudible] and you can get them too. And they’re wonderful. And they do this thing where it’s training and getting yourself out of that negativity and it’s a simple phrase that says “I don’t know how, but I am gonna find peace in my brother’s death and be fulfilled. I don’t know how, but I’m gonna bring in so many thousands of hours into the business and I am fulfilled.” So you take whatever you think it is – I don’t know how that sounds negative on the brain. No it’s not negative, because our conscious doesn’t know how. Our subconscious always knows how. So I’ve been trying to do it and it’s helping me. I’ll give you an example right now – Randy, give me something that you’re working on.
Randy: Currently I don’t know how we’re gonna build that radio station on Maui.
Nathalie: Ok so yours would be “I don’t know how but we have already built the radio station on Maui and it’s working beautifully and I am fulfilled.” Like I don’t know how – like it’s already happening. I’m going to – and another thing I’ve been doing is “I don’t know how but I’m gonna be a happy person again and I am fulfilled.” Because for me I was like I miss my brother so badly, everyone who lost someone would understand and it’s always been since the middle of January and we had a lot of drama going on. We just had another court case and we won. It’s just insane and it shouldn’t happen to anybody so it’s totally insane. But it happens and apparently there’s a lot of greed in the world. And they say “You have to not be negative towards people” and it’s really difficult to do that because of someone who just did a number on you. So I found – I wanted to mention that command “I don’t know how but I am – whatever you need to already happen is already there and then I am fulfilled.” It’s incredible! Try it! You’re gonna be like wow! This stuff really works. Because it’s actually pre-programming your brain in a way and the subconscious. And meditations and affirmations are fantastic. We’ve had – Tony Robbins has always been good with affirmations and many people, many speakers, trainers, gurus and affirmation is great because of the features it has and it would be very simple but we’re simple and complex at the same time. We stuff all this stuff deep in us and then we forget about it and let other things get to us and life – this is not a dress rehearsal. It’s not something to take for granted. And when you start losing people you love like this you go “Oh my God!” It’s hard but live is meant to be lived and we have to get back on the horse and saddle and get going. One of my brother’s friends they were trying to console me. If one year he lost two brothers, one brother from illness but his other brother committed suicide and he was the last one he called and he was busy at work and he was talking to him about being down because there was a breakup in his marriage and he had to tell him he was busy at work, people were grabbing him at work and he said “I’m really busy, I can’t talk right now. I’m gonna call you tomorrow!” And his brother said “I love you!” And then his brother went and hung himself. And also he lost a 6 month old years and years ago to crib death and when you start hearing people that went through all these thing you’re like “And how did you get through it?” Those are the people you want to talk to and connect with when you’re going through things cause they’re gonna understand. And whatever you need just remember you’re unique and whatever you need, however much time you need or help, that’s ok! Don’t put a timetable on it! You’re unique and special and you deserve to do it how you need to do it.
Randy: Good stuff, wow! Again, appreciate you guys listening this afternoon or evening or morning. We realize folks are listening all over the world at all hours of the day and we’re privileged to bring to you this radio show where we share our lives. And again Nathalie Mullinix from REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. with the concept and the website is realtyuniversal.com. And Nathalie, again I’m always inspired.
Nathalie: Me too, Randy! You’re awesome!
Randy : I’ve taken notes on the real-estate side and of course I love our second half of the show where we can just share our hearts. And feel free to email us realtyuniversalradio@realtyuniversal.com and check out the website at Realtyuniversal.com. Nathalie, I’m gonna let you close us out!
Nathalie: Oh good! Well everybody, I wish you peace!
Randy: Thank you for joining us on REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. Radio! Our hope is that you were enlightened, encouraged and mobilized to be an agent of change. REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc. is on Facebook, join us there. Follow us also on Twitter@REALTY UNIVERSAL, Inc.. And for more information, you can go to RealtyUniversal.com. Make it a great day!
